I Got Too High Because It’s My Job
CATEGORY Hit Tips
LENGTH 4 MIN READ
AUTHOR Nora Lenhardt
Join me as I make my way through being way too high by trying out the most popular tips and tricks the internet has to offer.
Extreme paranoia. Maniacal laughter. Even tears. Sometimes all at once! We’ve all been there. Was it your first edible experience? Did you attempt to keep up with the connoisseurs? Maybe your usual routine hit a little harder today. Whatever the journey, occasionally, the destination can be a disaster.
At least that’s how it feels to those of us in the thick of it.
I set out to do what no anxious, existential millennial woman should do; I went to that earth-shattering space, willingly, to see if I could find the cure-all for coming down from the clouds.
A Very Serious Study of the Beyond
While I do work at Aeriz, I’m a relative newbie to quality cannabis. I know my limits and only recently started to gradually increase my tolerance to better understand cannabis from every angle. I can sleuth my way through scientific tidbits about terpenes, processes, and market trends, but as the saying goes, “write about what you know.” To know the actual high – or, in this case, the beyond-high high – is to feel it.
After two puffs of an infused pre-roll, I checked my pulse. It’s on. That’s good, but also my telltale sign that I’m next in line to enter that beyond. The bouncer (my partner) passes to me once again. The password to this elusive club: one more hit. I am in.
Before embarking on this endeavor from the safety of my apartment, I researched common ways to de-high yourself. You’ll see the usual suggestions – ordered in a way that I thought my too-high self could follow – and then what I thought about them when I was, frankly, absolutely zooted. *
Tip 1: Establish Your Safe Space
This step is crucial. If you know you’re going to be consuming cannabis with a group of people, be sure you’re comfortable with them. One brilliant way to discern this (thanks Meryl Montgomery) is by asking yourself whether or not you’d burp in front of this crowd. If that’s a hard no, err on the side of abundant caution (i.e., skip and pass to the left). If it’s too late for that, Irish goodbye your way out of there if you can. You’ll certainly be forgiven.
With the people part solidified, set your ideal ambiance. Put on some music, light a candle, and have a pillow to squeeze. Grab some snacks. Always have some water on hand to control a cough, remedy cottonmouth, or just stare at – mesmerized in gratitude for all it does for us. There are a million ways to curate comfort, and you know you best. Even in this moment of tension or mind trickery, take a breath and believe that you’ll be okay. Because you will be, I promise.
My take:
Freshly showered and in cozy clothes, I lit up on my couch. While I’m sure this entire experiment would be different if I were in a group of people, it also drives home the lesson that setting up a healthier (for you) cannabis ritual is learned through your unplanned trips to the beyond. Having been before, I rarely consume with people outside of my partner or close, close friends. Bud boundaries.
Between candlelight flickers, the dim sounds of Bravo, and my heightened heart rate, I ask myself what would make the intensity of right now more palatable. How can I bring myself closer to the ground?
As gravity itself baffles me, I try to gravitate toward what I know to be reality. Like doom-scrolling through my brain, but in a reassuring, positive way, I remind myself that I’m safe and merely another human who smoked a plant. Fact: it’s impossible to overdose on cannabis. While cannabis clearly alters our physical and mental states, the endocannabinoid systems within each of us are designed for this chemical reaction, yet unique enough to explain why reactions vary.
Cannabinoids like THC and CBD connect to receptors all over our bodies, including our brains. Too much THC (the one that gets you high) is what causes these receptors to go into overdrive, causing paranoia, dizziness, etc. If you’re at this point, you obviously know that you had too much THC; however, did you know that THC binds with receptors in the brain that have nothing to do with breathing? So, just as you have been doing since day one, you’ll continue to do so. Phew.
I’m currently breathing in my soothing space, but still off my rocker… er, couch? Where am I? Onto the next.
Tip 2: Pop Some Peppercorns
Lit AF lore says that sniffing or eating peppercorns will essentially snap you out of your high. Black pepper has a terpene that may lighten the heady effects of THC by blocking receptors in the brain that bind to THC. That terpene – beta-caryophyllene – is one of the only known terpenes that’s also a cannabinoid (molecules that bind to receptors in your body), so there is logic in thinking it could bind to receptors instead of THC. Or, at the very least, provide a slight reprieve as the terpene is also known for its calming effects (it’s found in lavender, cinnamon, and cloves).
My take:
As an avid cooker, I assumed I had whole peppercorns on hand. Nope! For a microsecond (or several), I considered snorting a line of black pepper. Instead, I took giant whiffs, switching between nostrils for ten seconds or so. About-to-sneeze sensation aside, my head immediately felt lighter and clearer. My body, however, was just as heavy while also feeling floaty? I swam through my kitchen wishing I had whole peppercorns to chomp on, and realized I was exactly where I started – too high.
Tip 3: Lick a Lemon
Similar to the reasoning behind immersing your senses in black pepper, lemons contain limonene. This terpene is found in many citrus fruits as well as chamomile, dill, and rosemary – a confidently calm bunch I’d love to join. Within cannabis and the overall wellness space, limonene is praised for providing stress and anxiety relief and boosting sour moods. Supposedly, you can just smell it; many suggest taking it a step further and zesting it into your beverage as the peel contains the highest concentration of the coveted terpene.
My take:
Soaring well above the beyond, I figured I’d take this remedy to the uppermost extreme too. I zested lemon into my water and then ate a slice like an orange, willing its tartness to take me back to normalcy. I puckered as brain freeze buzzed into my head, then my bones. Laughing hysterically at my current ridiculousness, popular videos of babies and pets trying lemons for the first time flooded my thoughts (definitely a recommended rabbit hole to follow). I gulped my pulped water: refreshing, albeit fleeting relief. To continue my quest for the cure, I must leave my kitchen. Bigger gulp.
This baby is like ten years old now? Time is truly wild. As is the internet. 🤯 Get lost there if nothing else. [Video credit: John Mueller]
Tip 4: Find Fresh Air
This one is pretty self-explanatory but varies greatly on where you’re partaking and your comfort level with leaving your cocoon. If you live near actual nature, lucky you! Go splash in a shallow creek, gaze into an open field, or explore shapes in the clouds –ones that you are not actually floating on. Changing your literal perspective can transform your current fear into curious awe.
If you’re a city dweller like me, getting to greener pastures can be a hassle – a hellish one if you’re high. Instead, stroll the neighborhood, wander to a nearby park, or plant yourself on a patio. A short walk can revive your metabolism, causing cannabinoids to process more quickly. Plus, increased oxygen to the blood and brain triggers a boost in serotonin, balancing your mood with every breath.
Transform your current fear into curious awe by changing your literal perspective.
My take:
This was a no-go for me. I contemplated meandering around my neighborhood, but it was prime dog-walking time and even my biggest sunglasses couldn’t disguise this daze. Fortunately, I have a back porch. It overlooks a crowded parking lot and alley where rats scurry between garbage and cars. Suffice it to say, not exactly serene. I inhaled deeply, thought about the chance of seeing a neighbor walk up the steps, and scurried myself back inside. I’ll happily try this option again… on vacation.
Tip 5: Bask in Busyness
At first glance, this one sounds like the worst, but hear me out. Plan an easy ten-minute project. Organize your medicine cabinet, color coordinate your closet, or water your plant babies. Hell, just do the dishes or laundry. As you physically do something, your mind tends to wander – and generally not to those dank, darkened places. It’s a meditation of sorts; thoughts come and go, and suddenly you’ve completed an annoying undertaking and suspended the scaries. A win-win.
This category also lends itself to creative distraction. Break out the crayons and color in an adult coloring book. Paint. Cook. Essentially, create a diversion within yourself by focusing on something small that you can control.
My take:
I set out to sort my shoes but got distracted from my distraction by hunger, naturally. I made my way back to the kitchen, turned on some tunes, and sang aloud while chopping herbs and veggies. By the time my pasta was finished, I was giving my cat a Grammy-winning performance and feeling back in my element.
This leads me to my grand advice: blindly follow your distraction. Change course, and pivot to what feels positive in the moment. For lack of better phrasing, go with the flow, man. Take comfort in what you like to do, what you usually do. Life is what happens when we’re making other plans, after all; the same goes for getting back to homebase.
The Last Resolve: Rest
If you’ve made it this far and you’re still reeling, rest your body and mind. Curl up on the couch, put on a nature show or something you’ve seen ten thousand times, and call it a day.
Depending on the door you took to the beyond, the length of your stay varies. Generally, you’ll join the waking world within two to six hours. As mentioned, your endocannabinoid system is different than everyone else’s in the sesh and there’s a reason that “low and slow” reigns supreme within the rules of cannabis consumption. Take time now to reflect on your experience and new-found limits, and only jump back on the high horse when you’re ready.
“When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself.” - Bob Marley
I’m aware that voluntarily visiting the beyond is innately different than when it hits unexpectedly; the element of surprise is certainly part of the trek. However, once you’re there, your body and brain don’t care which route you took.
While I hope you, dear high reader, can try these steps and come out on the other side immediately, it pains me to report that – in my experience – the only true cure is time. What you do with that time is up to you; I implore you to lean into the good parts. Immerse yourself in things you don’t otherwise notice, tap into feelings only laid bare when your mind is free to frolic, follow your curiosity, and breathe. Deeply.
See you on the other side. 🌈
